Allison is my very first in real life interview. She greeted me with a warm smile and open arms. I walked into her home knowing her as a stranger and left knowing her as a fellow Mother who loves her children more than anything and is giving it her all. Thank you, Allison for welcoming me, welcoming all of us into your heart and helping us feel a little less alone.
These are the questions I asked.
1. Tell us a little bit about you.
My name is Allison and I’m 33 years old. I’m married to Adam, we’re high school sweethearts. My children are Luca who is 11 and Adele, she’s 8. I was blessed to be home with my children through preschool age, and then began working outside of the home. Last year, my husband had a job change and I was able to come home again. We are going to be homeschooling this year for the first time. I’m nervous, but excited. (Allison and her family just moved into an old farm house a few days ago that they are restoring and it’s so beautiful already.)
2. What is your favorite thing to do withOUT your children?
I love going out and not talking to people. Sitting at a table by myself at Panara with a coffee and a chocolate chip cookie or a trip to Target or Goodwill. Just being alone.
3. What is something you have dealt with as a Mother that is rarely discussed?
Autism. What we have gone through and continue to go through with Luca. There’s a lack of awareness and education out there. We need to teach our kids more about autism and what differences looks like in those with special needs. Especially educate them in a way that isn’t scary. I think we need to soften it and make people aware and not so scared.
4. Do you ever feel lonely? What helps you with loneliness?
I do feel lonely. Especially in winter. My husband is very work focused and it’s great, with the house and stuff but sometimes I’m like, this can wait, save the painting for another day and spend the day doing something fun. Also having a child with special needs can feel isolating. We have to watch where we are and what we are doing because he has a lot of food allergies and sensory issues and we want him to feel comfortable and safe. Also struggling with some friendships because our children are getting older and things are changing, and I’ve learned that family dynamics can affect adult friendships. What helps me with the loneliness is reminding myself that I am surrounded by family and the people I love on a daily basis. I also try to surround myself with like minded people, and invest in those relationships. There’s nothing better than coffee with a good friend in the midst of a lonely season.
5. What is something you fear you’ll be judged for by other Moms?
Our lifestyle. Homeschooling now. We are the only family in our group of friends who homeschool… Also, people judging the way we raise and discipline our kids. We really want to give them a simple and traditional childhood, and that’s not very common these days.
6. What is something that helps you feel more connected to your kids?
Anytime we go outside together and put away distractions. More focused on each other and what’s around us. Last weekend, Adam was working and I was walking around the new house with the kids, we were looking at the late summer flowers that were blooming and they were climbing the apple tree and the wind was blowing as the rain was coming in and I felt the most refreshed I had felt in a long time.
7. What helps you when you are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated?
Normally if I’m overwhelmed or frustrated, it means I’m overstimulated. I turn off screens, dim the lights and take a breath. I stop what I’m doing, make a list of what needs to get done and work my way through it. Lighting a candle, diffusing essential oils or smudging my space and committing to starting fresh, in that moment, helps me reset.
8. What is something you have learned from your children?
Resilience. Both have taught me that no matter what we are going through alone or as a family, people are strong. Luca, especially. We were told he would probably stop developing at 9 years old and now is he a typical 11 year old kid. He has fought his way tooth and nail, even if he isn’t aware he’s been fighting. He is so amazing. And Adele, being the younger sister who has a brother with special needs, has taught me so much patience and strength.
9. How do you maintain a loving relationship with your partner while in the thick of parenthood?
Adam has been my best friend since I was 16. I’ve fallen more in love with him as he became a father. I really just love my husband. He’s the only person I want, I need. We do early bedtimes, so we have two to three hours alone just watching something. I think it’s really important to try to keep your partner your best friend.
10. What is your favorite thing about being a Mother?
Just the capacity to be able to love someone with my entire heart and how wonderful that feels. I love touching my children and hugging them, just letting them feel my presence, and feeling theirs, too. Adele will still come down and lay with me in the morning before our day starts and I love that quiet time with her.
11. What helped you cope and heal from postpartum depression and anxiety?
I took medication. I don’t think a lot of women know that you can be treated even after a year postpartum. Sometimes there can be a real stigma for medication, but it really saved me. It was worse after Adele and I know it’s sort of trendy to say, but self care really helped. Taking a walk by myself or going to the grocery store alone or even for a drive by myself with the windows down was so helpful. After that baby is placed in our arms, we can get so easily lost in being a mother- and please don’t get me wrong, Motherhood is a joy and privilege- but we’re so much more than mothers. We’re women with unique interests and desires, and capabilities. I feel like postpartum depression and anxiety tries to steal those things from us, and it’s important we fight like hell to keep ourselves intact.
12. When do you feel most feminine? you know that energy you feel, like I am a WOMAN!
*big smile* When I’m around Adam. Being with him on a date, getting dressed up, I feel like I’m 16 again. Like I’m a wife and not just a Mom.
Favorite song? Master and a Hound by Gregory Alan Isakov
Favorite sweet? Anything with custard
Guilty pleasure? Probably eating ice cream out of the container in my pajamas
If you could travel anywhere? Oregon. Adam went and sent photos and I loved the fog hovering over the beach, and he said it smelled like pine trees as soon as he opened his car door. Sounds magical to me.
What do you drink most during the day? water
Favorite time of year? Fall- October
Favorite color? Yellow
Thank you so much, Allison. Isn’t she wonderful? ❤️ And thank you so much for reading. You can find Allison @seedandsparrow on instagram. ❤️