Quiet

When you’re a Mom it’s rarely quiet. Even quiet time isn’t quiet. It’s amazing how you adjust to the constant noise. For a while now, if I’ve been home alone for whatever reason or in the shower for too long, the quiet would even freak me out a little bit. My head would create noises that weren’t there. I have to sleep with the fan on even when it’s already cold. Wouldn’t trade the noise for anything, I think that goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. About a month ago I was alone in the car, driving somewhere about a half hour away and I forgot to put music on. When I got to where I was going I was like, wow, that was sort of incredible. I felt calmer, relaxed, my mind almost clear. Almost. Since then I’ve been doing it on purpose. Not even just in the car, but like making time to be quiet and to not be freaked out by it. We are growing pumpkins, it’s the only thing we grew in the garden this year. And for some reason I am dedicated to these pumpkin plants. When Arick gets home, I say I’m going to the garden and it has really helped me chill out a bit. All I do is sit there. I’m telling you there isn’t a weed in sight, I’ve found them all. I spray for fungus and aphids. Pam always finds me and sits with me. It’s not exactly quiet because of car noise, but it feels quiet. It’s more of a feeling that brings you peace anyway. No phone, just pumpkin plants and Pam. And when I run out to the store or get a coffee, I keep the music off. It’s really nice.

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