Hello, September.

My husband has been working a lot lately. Some days he leaves at 7:30am and doesn't return until 9:00pm. I'd say it sucks because it does, but in a way it's been okay. We only have one car, so the kids and I have just been hanging out at home. Sometimes I think being forced to chill is everything. I don't really believe in things like "meant to be," but it's exactly what we've needed. Obviously I feel bad for my husband because he's working super hard, but he seems to be doing okay, too. Like more calm maybe. He spends some of his time throughout the day alone in his car and I think that has been a good reset for him. Obviously super pumped to have him home for six weeks once the baby gets here. Pumped to see his face all day and feel his presence and comfort and warmth. We do miss him a lot. I miss him. 

We started our homeschool routine this week and it has been so amazing. The new routine at home is rocking my world and my kids already seem to be thriving. The hustle of summer can be so fun, but also so exhausting. So happy to be like living with purpose everyday. We have our first date with other homeschoolers tomorrow and that's gonna be great, too. My dad always says it's not good to shut yourself out from the world and you gotta get out there from time to time to remember you're human. El also starts ballet next week and art class at our local museum, which will be amazing because it will give us reason to like leave the house and socialize with people other than each other. Eleanor has three cousins close in age that live like five minutes away and sees them often, as well as a couple of close friends, so she is around kids a lot, but I'm not really around people a lot and I need to be better about like coming out from under my comfy rock. 

It has been a bit chilly here lately and oh my gosh like yes, so good. The corn is nearly brown and all of our chickens are laying and the turkeys are getting big and we talk about our new baby girl and halloween every single day. So many exciting things happening in the next few weeks. Right now, super excited about our first field trip next week to the apple orchard. The one we go to every year is now over an hour away, so it will feel like a legit field trip. We will pack a lunch and get ice-cream after and maybe buy a mum or two, too. 

It seems so wild that we will have another baby in five weeks. Just typing out five weeks, I'm like holy shit. Having a baby is one of the most exciting and wonderful and amazing things a human will ever experience, but also a little scary, too. Sometimes, for like a second during the day, I feel this intense anxiety of like can I do this? but that feeling doesn't last. I feel her kick and reassure myself that yes, I can. Hell yea, I can. She's gonna be okay and so will I and so will all of us because we love. There's love. so much love. 

I've been listening to Damien Jurado a whole lot lately and I feel like if you need to put your phone down and stare out the window while your kids play, you should give him a listen because the man can soothe the soul like no other. 

That's all for now. xo.